Is There a “Wrong” Way to Play?
Posted by DDOCS in Family, tags: Common Courtesy, Entertainment, Family, moms, Parenting, Safety, Stupidity
As summer comes to a close, parents can breathe a sigh of relief that long days at the park are over. As I reflect on these past few months, I have to wonder about some of the things I observed about other kids while at the playground. Some are mildly annoying, but some are downright infuriating.
1. Unsupervised Kids
Yes, I saw plenty of parents and nannies turn small kids loose at the playground. One afternoon, I saw three kids hurt themselves in various ways on the play equipment. The caregiver would then appear from out of nowhere and tell the child it was time to go home. How about paying attention to the kid before he/she gets hurt? Making the child leave after an injury only punishes he/she for something that is the caregiver’s fault: not paying attention.
2. Too Old for the Park
What, exactly, are tweens and teenagers doing at a playground for small children? While I applaud their attempt to get exercise, it’s just not safe for the smaller kids. The bigger kids run around and push past the toddlers, and I’ve seen plenty of teens do dangerous things on the play equipment. Isn’t there a soccer field or basketball court you kids should be on instead?
3. Up is Down, and Down is Up
It really drives me crazy when caregivers let kids go up slides the wrong way. Yes, it’s fun to climb. But, when your kid is climbing up the slide, other kids can’t slide down. More important than the kids who are waiting, every time a kid climbs up the wrong way, he/she risks an injury. I saw plenty of collisions where a kid was going up and another kid was sliding down. And, this happened with supervised kids, too. Come on, parents.
4. Swing Hogs
Usually a playground only has a few swings and they are in hot demand. Lines form with anxious kids who try to wait patiently for their turn. However, some parents act oblivious to the line and let their kid swing as long as he/she wants. Move it, swing hogs! Let everyone have a turn.
5. Inappropriate Park Toys
I actually saw a toddler with a baseball bat at the park this summer. Kid swinging a bat + other little kids = BAD IDEA! But, also in this category is any toy that your kid doesn’t want to share, lose, or damage. If it’s a family heirloom, it has no business at the park.
I probably sound like a curmudgeon. But, I’m not. I think everyone should be respectful of the all the kids and parents at the park. For most parents, not doing the above is common sense. For others, however, please read and learn. You’re ruining the park for the rest of us. So, let’s do better next summer.
Photo courtesy of Flickr: foundphotoslj
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You don’t really sound like a curmudgeon, more like a good-two-shoes. Except for the swing thing, I don’t see a lot of common sense or universals here. I don’t think that parents and caretakers should be regulating the play of children every minute of the day, because part of play is to learn *self* regulation. In other words, a skinned knee can be a good thing and it’s unrealistic to expect to be able to prevent the accidents in the first place. I have benefited from seeing older kids at the park. A lot of times they engage with my child and offer her opportunities for play that I have not been offering her and I get leads on potential babysitters. I only think the up-down rule applies if there’s a lot of kids, if there are only a few or none, I say let the kids use the slide to climb up. I don’t think you are arguing so much against baseball bats in the park (and if you are that’s unfortunate) as inappropriate use. My neighbor plays baseball with her sons at the park all the time, where else are they supposed to do it. I also don’t think it’s necessary for a kid to share what he brings to the park if they don’t want to. Who’s the rude little kid who thinks that it’s his or her right to take stuff away from others? Maybe they learn if from their mothers: http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php/site/reviewofbooks_article/5393/.
Willa, I disagree with your goodie-two-shoes comment, but that’s trivial. It’s unfortunate for those around you that you don’t see at least some of these things as ‘common sense.’ It’s also a little sad that you’re taking the author of a daily blog to task if the purpose of a post falls outside of what might be covered by the blog title. I imagine it’s pretty hard to offer common sense items 365 days a year without straying one bit outside that goal. I think op-ed posts should be forgiven, don’t you? Anyway, these opinions are my own, and I shouldn’t be speaking for the blog author.
One of the things I think you’ve missed, from reading your comment, is the child qualifier “small” that occurred a few times in the post. I assume the author has children that are less than three to five years old (depending on your view of “small”.) No small child should be unsupervised. I’ve seen small children unsupervised at a POOL! That doesn’t mean they have to be held at all times, just watched in some cases. I agree with you that kids should be allowed to skin knees and relate with others, but only after they’ve reached an age at which what’s a reasonable risk. That, of course, is up to each parent. Even then, though, entirely unsupervised? It’s one thing to not be holding a child as s/he climbs a jungle gym, but it’s another to not be around, or only respond to screaming while you’re busy gossiping with your park pals.
What about wandering off, or (I hate to be a fear monger) abduction? Again, I want my kids to be able to go to the park on their own, but only after a reasonable age. Unless you live under a rock recently, you know abduction occurs all the way through the teens (and later), so I may be weakening my point here by mentioning it. But it’s certainly easier for a small child to wander, get lost, or otherwise end up missing.
I don’t think it’s bad to have a mix of ages at a playground, but I think all people–kids and adults–should be aware of how children of different ages behave and relate. Maybe you live in a particularly utopian area (no sarcasm intended, honestly), but I’ve seen older kids bully younger kids with no restraint. When a child becomes old enough to understand bullying, I think a measure of that should be handled between the children. But, wow, I’ve seen things that make me count 10 before giving an eye-for-an-eye to that bully. In some cases, the age distribution would even be appropriately mirrored. Not very civilized, I admit (hence the 10 count).
As for the appropriate toys, you entirely missed the point of the comment. I would love for neighbors to play baseball with their sons and daughters, and mine. That IS how they’re supposed to do it. But the post says a toddler had a bat and was swinging it around other toddlers. Perhaps the post was vague, but I don’t think the author was describing T-Ball. I guess it’s because bats are so easy to come by, but I’ve seen the same thing–toddlers swinging bats (and golf clubs, now that I think of it) around other toddler’s heads–not working on their long ball.
As you said, the swing hogs seem to be a unanimous pain, but I also agree with going up the slide as a nuisance. Your point about a lesser populated park is fine, but that’s not what the post was describing.
I do agree with your objection to “sharing” in the post, though. I don’t think it’s every kid’s right to take my children’s toys away. I try hard to teach my kids to share, but that doesn’t mean they have to give their toys to others in every circumstance. If a child goes to a communal play area where toys are provided, the idea of sharing is paramount because those toys belong to everyone. But sometimes kids bring a favorite toy to a park for just that reason–it’s the child’s favorite toy. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for that child to want to play with that toy.
Anyway, I see some gray areas here, and respect your opinions, but I’d hardly say this post came from the mouth of a goodie-two-shoes. Just my two cents.
You know, SW, there’s a lot I could say, but the fact that you pulled out the most easy scary trope in the book, child abduction, to justify this post or to defend the author’s ‘common sense’ shows me that you’re not thinking clearly. Is it sensational? yes. Is it even remotely the biggest thing to be concerned about? No. Check out Free-Range kids for some facts on this before you trot it out next time: http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/
Ha! Awesome! I love these little troll wars.
1) Ignore everything you consider a disagreement in the comment.
2) Dismiss any opinion of commenter as nothing more than defense of post author rather than independent thought.
3) Continue to insist that everything written in this blog must adhere to its title, lest be banished.
4) Finally, and most importantly, reject any tolerance, agreement, and even explicit respect expressed for your ideas and recoil with condescension and snark. (I’m sure you’ve never been accused of snarkiness.)
Thanks for sharing! I hope that whole people-person thing you’ve got going on is working well for you!
I know many parents have a more “hands-off” style than mine. To each his (or her) own. I can’t believe any parent would turn a 2-year lose at a playground (not a place you would play ball, but rather swing and slide) with a bat around other little kids. To me, that seems like a lack of common sense. We’re not talking about a five or six year old, or even a four year old, who understands not to swing or hit near other little kids. Rather, a toddler who runs amuck while the parents are nowhere to be found. Maybe that wasn’t clear in the original post.
I have seen older kids knock down and push by littler kids, and also line jump, etc. in front of toddlers at the playground. How can this seem like appropriate behavior? I’m not talking about seven or eight year olds, but twelve and thirteen year olds. It’s fine if the older kids have the place to themselves, but if there are smaller kids around, someone has to teach them restraint.
Anyway, I’m just VERY glad that people are reading the blog and commenting on the material, whether you agree or not.