Daily Dose of Common Sense

Not everyone relishes the quality family time provided by the holidays. If you dread the upcoming moments with your kin like a Michael Jackson seance, here are some tips to get through it all in one sane piece.

At family gatherings, don’t talk about:

• religion
• politics
• the lack of seasoning in the food
• your lesbian experiment in college
• the inheritance

More tips:

Don’t expect to share a bedroom with your boyfriend/girlfriend if your hosts are conservative in this area. Just accept that you’re sleeping apart for a few days in exchange for some free grub. Better yet, offer to stay in a hotel nearby.

Just smile and nod any time your mother picks on comments on your _________________ (insert most sensitive topic here). Because she WILL mention it.

Make sure to keep taking your medication. Whether it’s Prozac, Ambien, Johnny Walker or chocolate cake, don’t try to go cold turkey around Turkey Day.

Pack a bag with snacks. That way, if you don’t like the food, you can sneak away for a Snickers bar later.

Photo

Let’s face it: we all want free candy. The only thing better than free candy is free money, and that doesn’t happen very often (like, never). But, there comes a point where it becomes obnoxious to intrude into what is, essentially, an event for littler kids. For example, have you ever had a trick-or-treater with a real five o’clock shadow? Well, the Chicago Tribune has a great piece today on helping us all learn who is too old to trick or treat.

Here are some of the suggested guidelines:

I say that if you’re old enough to shave, you’re too old.

Old enough to drive? Too old.

Are you old enough to have an iPhone? Too old to trick-or-treat.

Old enough to remember life before Google? Too old.

Older than Miley Cyrus? Too old.

Not sure who Miley Cyrus is? Beyond too old.

[via Pat's Papers]

Photo

I know recycling and “going green” are really hot topics right now. Sure, we all want our kids and grandkids to have an Earth to call home. But, turning a placenta into a keepsake? I’m just not sure if it will catch on like hybrids did…

A crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear.

The best part? It’s a do-it-yourself kit! I’m generally not squeamish, but…ewwwww.

I’m not sure how many people fall into the “Gee, I wish I could eat my baby’s placenta” category. I’m guessing not a whole lot.

If you want to pay your respects to the organ, why not donate the placenta to stem cell research? It just might save someone’s life someday.

At the mall one morning recently, I overheard two parents talking. As our small kids were all riding kiddie rides, one mother told the other that her son was sick that day and he wouldn’t be in pre-school that afternoon. She wanted to keep him out of school to “you know, be considerate.”

How about keeping your kid home from the mall, too? If your son or daughter is too sick to go to school, does it really make sense to let them spread germs at the mall? When my kids are too sick for school, that means no galavanting around town, either. Kids are everywhere, and sick kids can spread germs as easily at the mall as they can at school.

What’s wrong with some parents?

Photo courtesy of Flickr: Mykl Roventine

As summer comes to a close, parents can breathe a sigh of relief that long days at the park are over. As I reflect on these past few months, I have to wonder about some of the things I observed about other kids while at the playground. Some are mildly annoying, but some are downright infuriating.

1. Unsupervised Kids
Yes, I saw plenty of parents and nannies turn small kids loose at the playground. One afternoon, I saw three kids hurt themselves in various ways on the play equipment. The caregiver would then appear from out of nowhere and tell the child it was time to go home. How about paying attention to the kid before he/she gets hurt? Making the child leave after an injury only punishes he/she for something that is the caregiver’s fault: not paying attention.

2. Too Old for the Park
What, exactly, are tweens and teenagers doing at a playground for small children? While I applaud their attempt to get exercise, it’s just not safe for the smaller kids. The bigger kids run around and push past the toddlers, and I’ve seen plenty of teens do dangerous things on the play equipment. Isn’t there a soccer field or basketball court you kids should be on instead?

3. Up is Down, and Down is Up
It really drives me crazy when caregivers let kids go up slides the wrong way. Yes, it’s fun to climb. But, when your kid is climbing up the slide, other kids can’t slide down. More important than the kids who are waiting, every time a kid climbs up the wrong way, he/she risks an injury. I saw plenty of collisions where a kid was going up and another kid was sliding down. And, this happened with supervised kids, too. Come on, parents.

4. Swing Hogs
Usually a playground only has a few swings and they are in hot demand. Lines form with anxious kids who try to wait patiently for their turn. However, some parents act oblivious to the line and let their kid swing as long as he/she wants. Move it, swing hogs! Let everyone have a turn.

5. Inappropriate Park Toys
I actually saw a toddler with a baseball bat at the park this summer. Kid swinging a bat + other little kids = BAD IDEA! But, also in this category is any toy that your kid doesn’t want to share, lose, or damage. If it’s a family heirloom, it has no business at the park.

I probably sound like a curmudgeon. But, I’m not. I think everyone should be respectful of the all the kids and parents at the park. For most parents, not doing the above is common sense. For others, however, please read and learn. You’re ruining the park for the rest of us. So, let’s do better next summer.

Photo courtesy of Flickr: foundphotoslj

With childhood obesity rates climbing, many people are looking for ways to turn the tide. One report out this week strongly suggests that junk food and sugary sodas should be taxed by state and local governments. According to the article, tobacco taxes have been shown to be effective in reducing tobacco use. So, they argue, taxes on soft drinks and fattening foods could do the same for the obesity rates in this country.

No one can deny that childhood obesity–and adult obesity–are problems. From the article:

“The prevalence of childhood obesity has tripled in just three decades,” the report reads. Nearly 18 percent of U.S. adolescents are obese.

While the food and restaurant industry cites personal choice and a lack of exercise, many reports have shown that unhealthy food is cheaper, more readily available and more heavily marketed than more healthful foods.

This is definitely cause for concern. But, are taxes really the answer?

First, who determines what “junk” food qualifies for the tax? This could be a very fine line. Soft drinks…chocolate…fast food…popsicles…flavored yogurt? Where does the list end? Plus, it would be very hard to get a fair assessment of all the foods that contribute to weight gain. You can bet that some special interest group would use every trick in the book to keep their products tax-free. For example, the soft drink lobby has not responded favorably to finger-pointing thus far:

Last week, the American Heart Association took on the $115 billion soft drink industry, saying the drinks are the No. 1 source of added sugars in the American diet.

The American Beverage Association, representing companies including PepsiCo, Coca-Cola Co and Dr Pepper Snapple Group Inc, says sugar-sweetened drinks do not pose a particular health risk.

Second, the tax would mostly hit the people who can’t afford it. According to an article in Time Magazine, childhood obesity “discriminates by income: 22.4% of 10-to-17-year-olds living below the poverty line–less than $21,200 for a family of four–are overweight or obese, compared with 9.1% of kids whose families earn at least four times that amount.” So, the tax wouldn’t teach the lower-income families how to eat better; it would only have them pay more for what they currently know how to do.

How about more education for the lower-income families on how to buy fresh and healthy food more economically? For example, apples, bananas, and cheese aren’t expensive, and these are great snacks for kids. Grocery store chains could offer classes on purchasing healthy food for kids. Or, what about cost incentives in low-income neighborhoods to customers who purchase fresh fruits and vegetables?

Schools are starting to do their parts to educate kids about nutrition and take away access to all the sugary soda and candy. Healthier lunch options are also being made available. Will it be enough? Probably not, if the parents aren’t on board as well.

It seems as if no one wants to address the real issue, which is knowledge and access. Throwing money at obesity, even in the form of higher taxes, isn’t the answer.

Photo courtesy of Flickr: D Sharon Pruitt

A study found that men who do cooking, cleaning, and other household chores have the highest chances of finding someone to settle down with. Women around the world respond, “You betcha!”

Researchers found a direct connection between marriage and cohabitation rates in countries where views on the roles of men and women are more equal. In these areas, responsibilities for housework and child-rearing are considered a partnership, not just a woman’s duty.

The study found that women living in less egalitarian countries were between 20 and 50 per cent less likely to be living with a man than comparable women living in a more egalitarian country. For instance, the findings would predict that the average British woman was 8.5 percentage points more likely than a similar Australian woman to be in a live-in relationship.

The countries with the highest levels of male participation were Norway, Sweden, Great Britain and the United States (whoo!). At the bottom of the list were Japan, Germany, Austria, and Australia. What’s going on with the Aussies? Are they as old-fashioned as the statistics make it seem?

This study also had one other nugget of note: while egalitarian men fare better with the opposite sex, egalitarian women are seen as a handicap. Women want men who help out, but men want women who will take care of it all. Talk about a double standard.

Guys, here are some ideas to get you started:

• SavvyMiss.com has a great list of Basic Cooking Terms & Tips for the Cooking Inept
• You can’t go wrong with Betty Crocker Cooking Basics: Recipes and Tips to Cook with Confidence on Amazon.com
• Tips for men and housework can be found here at Men and Housework: We Can’t Clean What We Can’t See
• This one is probably for women, but it’s a book called The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework

Photo courtesy of Flickr: eyeliam

If there weren’t already enough reasons to make you think twice before you have kids, potential parents and irresponsible teens just got one more: Kids are really expensive. A recent report finds the average cost for raising a child born in the U.S. is now $221,000. This number only includes the money spent on the child until the age of 17, so college is not included.

If you already have kids, then this news is probably no surprise. Cell phones for the elementary school set? Check. Computers for “homework?” Check. TVs in every bedroom? Check. Whether it’s a Nintendo DS, Leapster, or an XBox, chances are that your child has one of them. Kids want THINGS. Mostly, they want what the other kids have in order to keep up.

Nowadays, however, it’s not just the fancy extras that add up on a parent’s child-rearing bill. Turns out the biggest expense categories in the report were for the basics. Kids need to eat and that’ll cost you. They need to wear something and that’ll cost you. And, they need a roof over their heads (usually), so that’ll cost you. In fact, housing is the largest single expense that parents shell out, followed by food and child care/education costs.

Over time, all this adds up to almost a quarter of a million dollars per child. So, before you have any mouths to feed, sit down with a calculator.

People pushing strollers get a pretty bad rap as far as pedestrians are concerned. I’ve heard occasional complaints from friends who grouse about the size of strollers and/or the speed at which they travel. I’m a mom with two small kids, and, although I always try to be polite in transit, I’ve received the occasional dirty look from someone while out pushing my kids. It’s time for the madness to end. We need to give strollers–and the people pushing them–a break. Here’s why:

1. We’re late, we’re late, for a very important…EVERYTHING.
I hate being late. It’s rude. But, since having kids, I usually run about ten or fifteen minutes late for everything. This isn’t for a lack of trying to get out of the house on time. Kids have a way of making sure you can’t find the sippy cup, snacks, keys, cell phone, or wallet when it’s time to leave. Or, one child suddenly needs a diaper change. So, people out pushing kids in strollers are generally running late and in a hurry. Which leads to….

2. Move quickly or get out of the way.
If you’re walking slowly, we need to maneuver around you. We need you to walk on the right-hand side of the sidewalk–not the middle. We’ll try to be polite about it, but we don’t always have patience for slowpokes who won’t move over. And, if you’re rocking out to your iPod with headphones, we will be annoyed that you didn’t hear us say, “Excuse me.” You know who you are, you dawdlers without kids in tow and not a care in the world. You might be out for a leisurely stroll by yourself or with a friend. But, we’re not bitter (usually). We’re just late. So, please let us pass without comment.

3. We’re pushing a heavy load.
A stroller generally weighs around 20 lbs. Add to that the weight of the kid(s), and you’ve got quite a torpedo. My kids are 40 lbs and 22 lbs, while my stroller weighs around 25 lbs. So, that’s close to 90 lbs I’m pushing around. Yes, I realize momentum and gravity do some of the work, but it’s still not easy to stop on a dime or get through doorways. We’ll do our best to accommodate other pedestrians, but sometimes it’s like steering a battleship.

4. We’re so tired.
Most parents don’t get a lot of sleep. We’re sleep-deprived and can be cranky on occasion. Sometimes, this perpetual tiredness can impair our judgement or make us lose our patience too quickly. Perhaps we aren’t as nice or courteous as we should be. We’re sorry. When we’re well-rested, we promise we’re a LOT nicer.

I’m not saying there aren’t obnoxious stroller-wielding parents and caretakers out there. I have seen my fair share. Most of us, however, do try to be courteous and respectful. We don’t want to run over people or play chicken with pedestrians. We just need to get where we’re going before our kids go into full meltdown mode. So, the next time you feel anger building toward some stroller-pushing parent, feel some compassion for them instead.

Photo courtesy of Flickr: Payton Chung

I was surprised by this recent report from a mother who visited an IKEA in Brooklyn, NY. While breastfeeding her six-month old child in the store, the woman–who was fully covered–was rudely asked by the staff to move to the restroom instead. Shamed, she obeyed. Mother and daughter waited for a stall, but eventually gave up and left the store. (For the record, to force a breastfeeding mother into the restroom is illegal in New York.)

I’m shocked this sort of discrimination still happens, especially at a store with such a family-friendly reputation. IKEA stores have great monitored play areas for kids that allow parents a child-free shopping experience (and really, what’s better than that?!) plus they sell baby food, too. But, the offended staff member involved the security guards, so we know it’s not a renegade employee with the naked-mommy-boob heebie-jeebies.

This incident smacks of a bygone era. Are some people still so freaked out by the thought of breastfeeding (remember, she was covered) that they can’t tolerate someone quietly nursing nearby?

Breastfeeding isn’t exhibitionism, folks. It’s not a sexual act; it’s a practical one. Nursing is much cheaper and also better for the child’s health. We should all try to be supportive of mothers, whether they choose to bottle feed or breastfeed. Neither are an easy choice.

[Note: This post originally appeared on RationalMoms.com.]