Daily Dose of Common Sense

I was surprised by this recent report from a mother who visited an IKEA in Brooklyn, NY. While breastfeeding her six-month old child in the store, the woman–who was fully covered–was rudely asked by the staff to move to the restroom instead. Shamed, she obeyed. Mother and daughter waited for a stall, but eventually gave up and left the store. (For the record, to force a breastfeeding mother into the restroom is illegal in New York.)

I’m shocked this sort of discrimination still happens, especially at a store with such a family-friendly reputation. IKEA stores have great monitored play areas for kids that allow parents a child-free shopping experience (and really, what’s better than that?!) plus they sell baby food, too. But, the offended staff member involved the security guards, so we know it’s not a renegade employee with the naked-mommy-boob heebie-jeebies.

This incident smacks of a bygone era. Are some people still so freaked out by the thought of breastfeeding (remember, she was covered) that they can’t tolerate someone quietly nursing nearby?

Breastfeeding isn’t exhibitionism, folks. It’s not a sexual act; it’s a practical one. Nursing is much cheaper and also better for the child’s health. We should all try to be supportive of mothers, whether they choose to bottle feed or breastfeed. Neither are an easy choice.

[Note: This post originally appeared on RationalMoms.com.]

Are we finally about to see the end of the it’s-the-latest-most-expensive-therefore-gotta-have-it baby item competition? The New York Times had an article this week discussing the new frugality in the world of parenting. Garage sales, thrift stores, .99 stores, CraigsList, and hand-me-downs are now all the rage. It appears that the recession has caused many parents to wise up about the cost of baby things.

Some thrifty parents were watching costs even before the recession. Yes, it’s great that Bugaboos are now being re-gifted and resold to others, but some parents always knew that most any stroller will do when you need to get from point A to point B.

To show how out of control it was before the crash, read this excerpt from the article:

“Three years ago, in the heyday of the moment, someone would come into the shop and say, ‘I want the most expensive thing you have,’” said Ms. Mahar, a designer of educational toys and the owner of Kid O, a toy shop in Manhattan.

But now, she said: “People are much more discreet how they shop. Large orders are placed on the phone. And at birthday parties I see a difference. No one will bring a $300 LikeaBike anymore. Culturally, it’s just not acceptable anymore. Even for those who can afford a $200 toy.”

If someone brought a $300 bike to my kid’s birthday party, I think I would have heart failure. (But, please, if you must, her birthday is at the end of July.)

It’s good to see a little bit of sanity come back to the expense of parenting. I don’t want to be cheap, but I also want my kids to value their possessions and know the value of a dollar. Buying such extravagant toys and doo-dads doesn’t make a lot of sense, especially considering how long they use them. (Seriously, my daughter’s favorite toy for a year and a half has been a batch of plastic eggs. Cost: $.99 at CVS.)

Besides, with the way college tuition is these days, we’ll need every penny we can get later on.

For formula-feeding parents, a big worry is that your baby might be allergic to, or intolerant of, cow’s milk formula. This can lead to a lot of trial-and-error of different brands and types of formulas. A new study has suggested some parents are misdiagnosing milk intolerance and may be too hasty when it comes to switching formulas–especially without consulting a health professional.

The researchers found that nearly half of formula-fed babies experience a formula change in the first six months. Could parents be over-reacting? While a relatively small study, it found no difference in infant intolerance to either milk-based or partially hydrolyzed whey protein formula. (The later is a formula modified to remove some of the proteins found in cows’ milk.)

While regurgitation, crying, fussiness, and colic can be signs of intolerances, similar episodes are also normal during early infancy. But anxious parents may mistake these normal episodes as formula intolerance.

The best course of action seems to be talking to a health-care professional, such as your child’s pediatrician. Breast-fed babies can also spit up, have colic, reflux, and/or general digestion discomfort.

Dairy allergies and intolerance are real, but perhaps may not be as prevalent as some parents fear.

[This post originally appeared on Rational Moms.]

Sometimes we forget to give dads their due. Luckily, Father’s Day reminds us to thank our dads, step-dads, and grandfathers for everything they do. And, according to recent reports, today’s father is doing more and more.

Per week, dads today perform about seven hours of primary child care, which is twice as much as 1965. And that may increase. Since the recession began, more men are being laid off than women. This has given some men the chance to assume a larger caregiver role in the household. Will the way mass culture views dads reflect the shift?

We talk about fathers like puppies tripping over their big paws, a portrait long mirrored in a culture in which Father Knows Least, from Fred Flintstone to Homer Simpson. We diminish with faint praise; dads still get points for returning children at the end of the day with all their limbs in place. But the more engaged fathers become, the more women have to reckon with what a true parenting partnership would look like.

So, it wouldn’t hurt to show dads some love and respect every day.

The choice to do a natural childbirth vs. a birth with pain medication is always hotly debated. And, each side is sure their opinion is correct. Well, a noteworthy study has just been announced that will likely spark further conversation. A recent Swedish study concluded that natural childbirth classes didn’t offer any advantage to expecting parents.

The scientists had two groups of expectant parents who were all in their third trimester. One group received information and training only on natural childbirth, focusing on breathing and relaxation techniques. The other group learned about pain relief available during labor as well as how to care for a newborn baby. But, they did not practice any breathing or relaxation techniques.

The result was no difference at all.

When asked to rate their pain and experience of childbirth, both groups gave similar answers. Both groups had similar levels of stress when it came to being new parents. There was also no difference in the proportion of women who had an epidural, which was 52 percent in both groups.

So, don’t take anyone else’s advice on which method to use. There is no scientific evidence that one method of preparation is better than another. Do what makes sense for you and your family.

[Note: This post has been used with permission from RationalMoms.com.]

If you’re a parent, do you know what to do in an emergency? For example, your child has a pulse but isn’t breathing. What do you do? It’s lunchtime and your daughter suddenly chokes on a small piece of food. Do you know the correct technique to save her life? If your child is unresponsive and requires CPR, did you know that calling 911 isn’t the recommended first response?

In children however, a child who collapses to the ground and requires CPR does so most likely not from an arrhythmia but from respiratory arrest. Brain damage from lack of oxygen occurs in less than 4 minutes and death shortly thereafter, therefore the American Heart Association’s recommendation for children in need of CPR is to CALL FAST. Give 2 minutes of CPR before calling 911.

I took an infant/child CPR class at our local YMCA and am now fairly confident in my abilities to properly handle a situation should disaster strike. However, not everyone can sacrifice three hours in the middle of the week to get certified in CPR. If you are too busy, consider this online training course offered by the American Red Cross. It’s $55, but seems money well spent. There is instruction, a test, and a skill session all to reinforce the information.

If you need more hand-on training, the American Heart Association sells a Family & Friends CPR Anytime personal learning kit for home use, which includes a mini-CPR mannequin and DVD instruction. It’s under $30 and while you won’t earn certification, you might learn how to save someone’s life.

06/09/09: UPDATE

Just saw this post on AmericanHeart.org: Mother Uses Infant CPR to Save Her Son. It’s so important to learn CPR, especially if you’re a caregiver.

[Note: this post originally appeared on April 18, 2009 on Rational Moms.]

I love a quick, informative slideshow and this one doesn’t disappoint. Scientific American investigates the science behind some of the common pregnancy myths and wives’ tales.

For example, is heartburn a sign that your baby will have hair? Do overweight mothers give birth to overweight babies? Do pregnant women eat more when having a boy?

(Answers: Most likely, yes, and yes. But there’s more so follow the link!)

Happy Mother’s Day!

It seems common sense to participate in the tradition of Mother’s Day. You have a mother, she worked hard to bring you into the world, and she helped raise you to be a good person. And you know she’ll never let you live it down if you don’t at least call her today.

Turns out the fear of a maternal guilt trip isn’t the only reason to honor moms. LiveScience.com posted 5 Scientific Reasons Mom Deserves Mother’s Day. Included here are some insightful findings based on recent scientific data. For example, moms today get less help and are expected to do more. Moms feel more pain. And, researchers have discovered that, although our genes come 50% from dad and 50% from mom, for some unknown reason mom’s genes have a more significant effect on the person you become.

One stark example: While you were in the uterus, if your mother had a very stressful experience, you’ll be at greater risk for anxiety disorders. And a new study on rats, out last month, indicates that your mother’s diet during pregnancy affected your genes.

More surprising, studies are showing that what your mother ate when she was a child, the toxins she was exposed to, and other experiences before and during pregnancy affect how the genes she passes on to you actually get expressed in your body.

Another study, reported this year in the journal Child Development, shows a profound impact of nurturing by mothers in the early years, too. A child who has a strong relationship with Mom during preschool years tends to form closer friendships in grade school, the research revealed.

It’s hard out there being a parent. So, give Mom a little recognition and love today. It goes a long way.