So, we took a little break last week. What can we say…it’s summer!

But, here’s something to get you back into the common sense swing of things. This is a slideshow of The Worst Grammar, Spelling, Punctuation, and Malapropism Mistakes Ever, as voted on by the readers of the Huffington Post. Good tips!

WRONG: I could of been a great writer.
RIGHT: I could have been published.

Irony is a concept that a lot of people misuse. In fact, a huge rock song based on irony got it all wrong. (This would be “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette, which contains phrases that are actually not ironic.) So, do you know what “irony” is?

Cracked.com has a funny flowchart about irony to test your skills.

Here’s the definition of irony: the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.

More important is what irony is not. It’s not sarcasm, bad luck, or a simple coincidence. Going back to Morissette’s “Ironic”…

If it rains on your wedding day, that’s a coincidence, not an irony. If you win the lottery and drop dead before claiming the money, it’s good luck followed by bad luck. If you meet the man of your dreams and then meet his beautiful wife, it’s a bummer. But if a song called “Ironic” contains no irony, is that in itself ironic? Nope.

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Remember how we were just complaining about the misuse of “less” and “fewer”? Well, Weird Al Yankovic also cares about grammar. Check out how he helps a grocery store with its signage:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGWiTvYZR_w

Another reason to love Weird Al!

[Via the fine folks at The Consumerist and Absurd Intellectual.]

Proving that just because you can make a sign doesn’t mean you can spell, someone has started a Flickr account called, “Teabonics.” These are photos of actual signs seen at Tea Party events around the country. It’s genius.

No matter where you stand on the issue, folks, make sure you spell check your protest signs. Misspellings just make you look like an idiot.

[Via the fine folks at BoingBoing]

Some people don’t realize there is a grammatical difference between the words “less” and “fewer.” They mean the same thing, essentially. But, to be used correctly, you must first think of what you’re trying to represent as not having as much. Is it a “count noun” or a “mass noun”?

According to Grammar Girl:

A count noun is just something you can count. I’m looking at my desk and I see books, pens, and M&M’s. I can count all those things, so they are count nouns and the right word to use is fewer. I should eat fewer M&M’s.

Mass nouns are just things that you can’t count individually. Again, on my desk I see tape and clutter. These things can’t be counted individually, so the right word to use is less. If I had less clutter, my desk would be cleaner.

She goes on to explain good ways to remember this grammar rule as well as exceptions to the rule. Did you know that the grocery aisle saying “10 items or less” is grammatically incorrect? It should be “fewer” because you can actually count the items.

The Oatmeal has done a great comic of the top 10 words you need to stop misspelling. Some of these include “there, they’re, their” and the ever-popular “definitely”, which is illustrated below. Follow the link for the entire list and illustrations. It’s worth it.

[Thanks to Laurie T. for the link!]

I just stumbled upon a site called The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. It’s a crusade against all those quotes you see that are either redundant, ridiculous, bad grammar, or all of the above.

For example, here’s a photo from the site:








































I know most of these misquoters are using the quotes for emphasis. But, it’s still wrong. And annoying. (I guess no one remembers the underline anymore. We should wage a campaign to Bring Back the Underline!) Just for the record, here is when you would correctly use quotation marks:

The primary function of quotation marks is to set off and represent exact language (either spoken or written) that has come from somebody else.

And, don’t even get us started on air quotes.

It may be three events, but that doesn’t mean it gets an unnecessary extra syllable. Many people pronounce this “tri-ath-a-lon.” However, there’s no extra “a” in there (as in “marathon”). It should just be pronounced as, “tri-ath-lon.”

You may not ever participate in one, but you should know how to pronounce it.

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The English language has a LOT of words. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the meanings to all of them. In fact, I recently misused the word “nonplussed” and a friend called me out on it. I looked it up, and sure enough, I had used it incorrectly.

In my research, I came across a great list on Cracked.com. It’s the 9 Words That Don’t Mean What You Think. One word that makes the list is “ironic,” which really means “an outcome that is the opposite of what you’d expect.” Another one is “pristine,” which means “ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original.”

Check out the list for other great examples, plus a “dick rating” for correcting people. (Glad I got to work in the word “dick” in this post.)

Any words on this list that you also have misused?

Photo courtesy of Flickr: SarahB-

People often mispronounce the word for someone who sells property. It’s spelled “realtor,” which should be said as “real-tor.” However, a lot of people (and I mean a lot) say “real-a-tor.” Well, that’s wrong.

There’s no extra “a” in the middle of the word. It’s not a three-syllable word, just two. You would never say “realaty” for “realty.”

I don’t know where this pronunciation started, and I hear it all the time. But, one blog post at a time, we can change the world. (Won’t someone think of the children?! The children!!)