Daily Dose of Common Sense

Today’s post is courtesy of Cherie Strand, an occupational therapist and world traveler from Idaho.

Just because a hotel SERVES breakfast does not mean it is your home kitchen.

My family has the opportunity to travel quite a bit because we live in the witness protection program in rural Idaho. Well, maybe not the WPP, but we do live about 3 hours away from an airport, Target, Walmart, Costco and doctors. (No kidding.) So, we do frequent overnight trips to stock up on things.

We love that many hotels have a hot breakfast included in the stay. Many are very well apportioned–everything from cheese omelets, bacon, hot and cold cereal, pastries, waffles, fresh fruit, yogurt, etc. Budget hotels have moved way beyond the stale danish that they used to offer. And, this is especially nice for families as it saves the time and money of taking kids to a “real” restaurant.

On the flip side, over the past 12 years, we have noticed more and more people take this breakfast offer a little too casually. Some folks appear in the breakfast area in their pajamas, hair completely uncombed (clearly) and often without shoes (despite signs saying proper attire and footwear required). It used to be just small kids that looked as if they were plucked straight from bed and brought down to the communal breakfast. Now, it is the entire family.

Whether it’s 7 AM or 9:30 AM, it is common now to see a grown man and woman with their three or four children, all still in PJs, slippers (or barefoot) and looking exactly as if they rolled out of bed and came right on down to the breakfast area. The rest of us try to keep down our breakfasts while treated to what these folks really look like without any semblance of morning hygiene–no imagination necessary! It is not as if we are eating at 5 AM and expecting everyone to be there in suits (which, incidentally IS the case because the business men and women are up early, dressed, and ready to go).

So, would you waltz into a restaurant like that? (Well, yes, because I have seen that too, but mostly from teenagers and college kids.) I do NOT want to see you or your family with bed head, pajamas, bare feet or ratty slippers. It takes about 10 minutes to get kids up and pull their hair back and get dressed yourself. You can even use your room coffeemaker in the meantime to have a cup of coffee to get geared up for all that work it takes just to put on regular clothing. Asking for a little courtesy while strangers are eating breakfast doesn’t seem like too much to ask, does it?

I don’t want to see your toe jam while I’m trying to eat my jam on toast.

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You know how you can’t even sneak a bottle of water through airport security? Well, two British women thought they could get a dead guy past security. Sounds like something straight out of Weekend at Bernie’s, but it’s true.

The BBC and other British media reported that the women placed the man, a relative of theirs, into a wheelchair and covered his face with sunglasses in a bid to get him aboard a flight to Berlin.

Boy, those two women are ballsy. Either that, or they are secretly filming a British sitcom with plenty of high-jinx and hilarity.

These days, airport security is an invasive process: No shoes, no metals, no liquids, no coats, etc. And it’s only getting worse. Attempting to sneak a dead person through is a really, really, bad idea. (Especially when you can just take a train instead.)

As flying gets increasingly more laborious, expensive (hello, outrageous extra baggage fees!), and just downright miserable, at least one regional airline knows what consumers want–less hassle.

SeaPort Airlines, headquartered in Portland, Oregon, offers regional flights within the Pacific Northwest and also within the Mid-South region. Started in 2008, their goal is simple: Provide quick and easy commuter flights at a reasonable cost.

A quick flight cost comparison with another major airline showed one standard SeaPort fare to be about $200.00 less expensive than its competitor. They also offer free airport parking and suggest you need only arrive 15 minutes before your flight–even with check-in bags.

Best of all? They tout themselves as a “TSA free airline.” Yep, you read that right. Since they are a regional airline and fly into smaller terminals they are exempt from full-scale Transportation Security Administration screening.

Now that’s how I want to fly.

Proving that you really can pay someone to do anything, Holiday Inn Hotels in England are now offering human bed warmers. If you hate cold sheets (and, who doesn’t?), the staff will send someone up to your room to lie in your bed for you. This opens up a chasm of questions for me, some of which the hotel chain has already anticipated:

Holiday Inn said the warmer would be fully dressed and leave the bed before the guest occupied it. They could not confirm if the warmer would shower first, but said hair would be covered.

How do they know the bed warmer won’t fall asleep on the job? Can you request the gender of your bed warmer? And, what’s wrong with an electric blanket?

In a hotel, the last thing you want to think about is all the other people who have slept in your bed. Knowing someone has just hopped out of it doesn’t make for a restful night’s sleep.

[Via TwitterMoms]

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I usually don’t just link to other commentary here (as I like to throw in my own .02, too), but there is such a great post on Gizmodo regarding the TSA that everyone should RUN to read.

Joel Johnson wrote a piece called, “President Obama, It’s Time to Fire the TSA.” Here is my favorite paragraph:

It’s been nearly a decade since terrorists used airplanes to attack our country, and last week’s attempt makes it clear that the lack of terrorist attacks have nothing to do with the increasing gauntlet of whirring machines, friskings, and arbitrary bureaucratic provisions, but simply that for the most part, there just aren’t that many terrorists trying to blow up planes. Because god knows if there were, the TSA isn’t capable of stopping them. We’re just one bad burrito away from the TSA forcing passengers to choke back an Imodium and a Xanax before being hogtied to our seats.

No one wants to die in a terrorist attack. However, look at the odds. You are more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightening than a terrorist attack. And, your chances of being killed by lightening are very, very low. (Read more about your “Odds of Airborne Terror” here.)

Think the TSA is responsible for that? From Johnson’s post:

Security expert Bruce Schneier nails the core incompetency: “For years I’ve been saying ‘Only two things have made flying safer [since 9/11]: the reinforcement of cockpit doors, and the fact that passengers know now to resist hijackers.’”

And, yet, we shake down old ladies, business men, mothers, and husbands at the airports like THEY are the criminals. It’s sad, really. And it’s only about to get worse. The last hour of your plane flight, you’ll be confined to your seat. You also won’t be able to have anything in your lap during that last hour.

Feel safer yet?

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Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Just not when I want to travel.

You’ve probably heard about the 2,000 or so folks stuck in the Chunnel for 16 hours on Friday. No heat, no food, no water, no bathrooms. For SIXTEEEN hours. Doesn’t it seem incomprehensible that any person would be forced to endure these conditions in this day and age? After 4 or 5 hours, you think someone would have come up with a solution to get those people out of there. Or, at least found a way to get them food, water, and blankets.

Remember the Jet Blue incident a few years ago where passengers were left sitting on a runway for over 10 hours? They were so close to the terminal but no one was allowed to get off the plane. Again, this was during an intense winter storm.

Delays beyond three hours are rare and occur in extreme circumstances, usually during peak travel days in the winter, when extreme weather can have a huge impact on scheduling.

Over the 2008-09 winter period, U.S. airlines reported 373 tarmac delays in excess of three hours, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics.

So, the good news is that the DOT has just mandated that the maximum length passengers can be confined in a plane on the runway is 3 hours. It seems pathetic that we needed the government to get involved in this no-brainer. But, airlines see us as little more than cattle. In fact, they are complaining that a 3-hour cap is going to cause “more cancelled flights and greater passenger inconvenience.”

Yeah, because sitting for 10 hours on a runway isn’t inconvenient for us AT ALL.

I would much rather have my flight cancelled or rescheduled than sit on the runway for a few hours. Wouldn’t you?

Photo: Carl Court / AFP/Getty Images / December 19, 2009

Think you can carry on that snow globe you bought while on your trip? Think again. The TSA will not allow snow globes to be carried on any flight because they can’t measure how much liquid is inside.

So, even if your snow globe fits in your quart bag with all your other small liquid items, the TSA is likely to confiscate it. Your precious memories must suffer for the TSA’s ineptness.

Some people are confused about what’s defined as a liquid or gel, [Transportation Security Administration spokesman Dwayne] Baird said.

“If you can pour it, pump it, squeeze it, spread it, smear it, spray it or spill it, it’s considered a liquid or gel.”

What about a small snow globe with less than three ounces of liquid sloshing about?

“I would think they would just say ‘no,’ because they can’t really determine how many ounces are in there,” Baird said.

A snow globe. Has it gotten that bad? Do we really think this makes us safer?

Via BoingBoing

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British Airways may just be starting the next trend in airline fees. In another effort to nickel-and-dime customers to death, BA will now charge passengers an additional fee for choosing their seats ahead of time. So, if you’re traveling with your kids, securing their seats with yours is going to cost extra.

This will also affect anyone who prefers an aisle or window seat. Locking those down before you fly will cost extra on BA.

A BA spokeswoman said: “Customers frequently request specific seats, but in the past we’ve only been able to confirm them 24 hours in advance or on the day.

“We know people want to secure them in advance and have real control over their flying experience. This will allow them to do that.”

Why not just be truthful? Instead, say something like, “Our airline was 400 million pounds in the red last year. We need money and therefore we pledge to find ways to get more of it from our passengers.”

[Via BoingBoing]

Photo courtesy of Flickr: Simon_sees

Today’s guest post is from long-time commuter Lance Gerhart.

I have been riding the commuter rail for over ten years and have witnessed some great ways of annoying fellow riders and conductors. Here is a guide to become “that person” that the rest of us talk about. To be a complete tool on the rails, follow these ten simple suggestions:

1. Pretend you have no concept of what a train does
Be sure to jump the gap between the platform and the train like it’s a ten foot wide crevasse. And, take your time preparing for the leap. Make sure there are at least 8 people waiting for you to get on the train.

2. Once on the train, pretend you are lost
Really think about whether you want to go left or go right, because apparently it makes all the difference in the world.

3. Duck and stare
Always stop before walking down the steps and peer to see if a seat is calling your name. Make sure to give the people behind you enough time to get a good look at your ass. Then, turn around like you want to go elsewhere, but change your mind at the last second. Proceed to where you were staring in the first place.

4. Make yourself look as big as possible
Find a seat with lots of space and sit right in the middle. Spread your legs and maybe even put your bag next to you–some people might think the bag is a small dog (or even a midget) and will not attempt to sit with you.

5. Feign narcolepsy
Be sure to immediately fall asleep upon seating. Open your mouth just a bit to mimic REM sleep. Furrow your brows. This gives the impression that you are having a really bad dream and that if someone disturbs you, they will be bitten.

6. Be surprised when you have to pay
When the conductor comes calling, do the same thing you do when your credit card bill arrives in the mail–ignore it. Claim you didn’t realize that you have to pay. And when you attempt to get your money be sure to try all pockets. Don’t let the conductor hear any change rattling in your pocket or they will know you have money. You might also want to say that you ‘had’ your ticket but you lost it. Conductors never hear that and believe it every time.

7. Pass the time with a phone call–or six
Nothing passes the time like a phone call to your buddy. Make sure you recount how wasted you were the night before and how you scored with that chick at the bar. Glance a few times at fellow passengers to see if they had a similar experience because then you can talk about it between phone calls.

8. Make sure you have everything
Spend the first 20 minutes of your ride rifling through your bag, wallet, purse, backpack, suitcase, McDonald’s bag, fanny pack, or any other carry-on just to make sure that something didn’t fall out when you were deciding whether to go left or right. See that guy sitting behind you? He might have the gum you can’t find.

9. Make a TFF (Train Friend Forever)
Take advantage of the captive audience and find someone else just like you. Get to know that person (intimately, if possible). Talk about personal ailments (preferably communicable diseases) and how you treat them. Good advice is waiting.

10. Be prepared for exiting
Make sure you ask how many stops until your destination. Do this after every stop. Then get up three stops before yours and wait in the aisle. Be sure to get a good spot in line because the train will leave and you will never have the opportunity to get off. When the doors open, run like hell and don’t look back.

Lance Gerhart lives in Boston and has issues with stupid people. In his spare time, he enjoys laughing at the downtrodden and waiting for the day where corporate America believes that working in the nude is acceptable (and not just on Fridays).

Photo courtesy of Flickr: Diego_3336

Bedbugs have made a comeback. All over the world, folks are waking up with itchy red welts all over their bodies. And it’s not a problem contained to fleabag hotels–even $400 a night hotels have them. There is good news and bad news about bedbugs. The bad news is that they are extremely hard to get rid of, they can live for a year without food, and they are very mobile. What’s the good news? You won’t catch any disease from their bites. (This is likely a small consolation for those who have experienced an infestation of the tiny blood-sucking critters.)

Bedbugs aren’t found just in beds and mattresses. They can be found in furniture, clothing, luggage, and more. And, they spread rapidly. So fast, in fact, that National Pest Management Association reports that bedbug calls to pest control companies are up 70% in the past five years.

You may not even know if you have them. Most people bitten do not show a reaction. Only about 30% of people experience reactions to a bedbug bite. But, if you get bedbugs, or suspect you have bedbugs, don’t be a cheapskate. Call a professional. It can be expensive, but home remedies are spotty, at best.

And if, unhappily, you already have bed bugs?  Call a reputable exterminator with plenty of bed bug experience.  Expect to have several treatments that last several hours, and be prepared to throw out a lot of your stuff.

Avoid used mattresses and be wary of used clothing and furniture. If you’re staying in a hotel, check for signs of bedbugs before unpacking.