Daily Dose of Common Sense

I’m all for supporting local zoos, but reindeer poop necklaces?

The enterprising “gem”ologists at Miller Park Zoo now are offering necklace pendants from dried reindeer droppings, joining the explosively popular ornaments that debuted last year.

The necklaces go on sale this Friday for $15 each. So, get ‘em while they’re, er, steaming.

[Via PatsPapers.com]

Here are some more absurd product warnings and instructions.

Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

Infant’s bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman’s Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

Hair Dryer:
Do not use in shower.

Hair Dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

Hand-held Massaging Device:
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Too much, too soon. That’s my reaction to this ad from The Gap:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVMPWlWDvsI

Actually, I’m not ready for holiday cheer. Not this early, and certainly not with this much enthusiasm. This ad makes me think I’ll never feel cheery again.

Can we just get to Thanksgiving without the holiday hoopla? We know gift-buying season is right around the corner and stores count on consumers opening their wallets to make their year-end profits (especially this year). But, with some stores putting out holiday decorations in August, we’re already feeling creeped out. Give us some space, retailers!

Here are some of our favorite brief Web stories from this week.

Some people had common sense.

• In order to avoid the chaos and tragedy of recent years, many stores have revamped their Black Friday policies. For example, Walmart stores will remain open Thanksgiving night and into Friday morning to prevent a 5AM stampede.
• You may feel, like me, that rude people abound these days. Well, one woman is fighting back, one intervention at a time.
• Kellogg’s has decided to stop bragging that Cocoa Krispies build a child’s immunity. Added vitamins were the company’s defense, but they have now rethought the marketing language after complaints about promoting a sugary cereal as a health benefit.
• Facebook prevented a 19-year old man from going to jail. Arrested as a suspect in a crime, the man was able to prove he wasn’t guilty by the time on his Facebook status update. Social media to the rescue!

And, some did not.

• A Florida man called 911 looking for sex. FOUR times. He said it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes. What the WHAT?
• A 24-year old Texas woman lied about having breast cancer in order to get implants. She shaved her head and held a benefit, then spent the money raised on breast implants. Look out, honey. The karma train can be a bitch.
• Three words: Michael Jackson seance.

We have now learned that most of us are too lazy to even fast-forward through the commercials in our recorded programs. The NY Times said:

According to Nielsen, 46 percent of viewers 18 to 49 years old for all four networks taken together are watching the commercials during playback, up slightly from last year.

Even the networks are flabbergasted:

“It’s completely counterintuitive,” said Alan Wurtzel, the president of research for NBC.

Apparently, everyone over-estimated us. Experts say TV is a passive activity, which accounts for the reason why viewers sit through ads when they don’t have to.

I watch a lot of TV in the background while doing other things. Therefore, I’m not paying attention to either the show OR the commercials. You say waste of electricity; I say pleasant background noise. But, if I’m really watching a show (perhaps a 30 Rock or Mad Men episode), you better believe I skip the annoying commercials.

So, wake up and don’t waste your time! Skip the ads in your recorded shows. On average, you’ll save 18 minutes during each hour. It may not sound like a lot at first, but here are some suggestions on how to spend an extra 20 minutes in your day. (Write your own obituary? Really?)

Photo

No, this headline was not from The Onion. The readers of AskMen.com have voted Don Draper–of AMC’s Mad Men–the most influential man of 2009.

Handsome? Yes. Nice dresser? You bet. But most influential man?! This is a fictional character, people. How is he even in the running?

I love Mad Men. Don’t get me wrong. It’s an amazing show. However, Draper’s character isn’t exactly squeaky clean. He stole another man’s identity and began another life, where he fathered three children with a woman he hasn’t been faithful to. Yes, he’s an ad genius. That’s about all Draper’s character does right. Is this what some people aspire to these days?

Last year, the winner in the AskMen poll was Barack Obama. A real person who also happens to be the President. (He’s fallen to #3 on this year’s list.)

[image]

[Thanks, Asylum]

Wouldn’t it be nice not have to lunge for the remote when the commercial break starts? Television ads are loud and can be jarring, especially if you aren’t expecting the jump in volume. Well, we aren’t the only ones who have noticed.

There is currently legislation moving through Congress that would limit the volume of TV ads. If it passes, the law would stipulate that commercials be no louder than the average decibels of the program in which they appear. (The current rule allows ads to broadcast at the highest volume peak of the program.)

Broadcasters say they are aware of the problem and are working on their own plan to limit ad volume. But, this isn’t exactly a new gripe from viewers. The industry has had years and years to implement their own solution. And yet, commercials are still louder than they should be, which forces people to find ways around seeing them. Services like DVR, Hulu, and TiVo are gaining in popularity because they allow consumers to minimize–or skip altogether–the annoyingly loud commercials that interrupt television shows. If the ads were tolerable, perhaps more viewers would stick with broadcast television.