CNN is doing a week-long series on surprising ways your stimulus dollars are being spent. Not hard to imagine that most of what will be uncovered won’t make the taxpayers happy.

For example, in Ohio, $1 million of their stimulus dollars (that you gave them) is being spent just to tell you that they are spending stimulus dollars.

Ohio was given nearly $1 billion of stimulus money for roadwork. The money used for the signs is only about one-tenth of 1 percent of that money.

But critics argue that stimulus money — all of it — was designed to finance projects, not advertise them.

It’s crazy. And, Ohio isn’t the only state creating signs to let citizens know that stimulus money is being used for certain projects. It’s estimated that $3.8 million will be spent on signs nationwide. (Guess we should all be in the sign business.)

There are some 16 states, however, who are doing it right and skipping the signs. Vermont, for example, allows taxpayers to track their state’s stimulus funds via a Web site.

Some of these politicians don’t get it. Who needs signs? We want jobs and a strong economy. Stop wasting our money!

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[Via Consumerist.com]

Proving that you really can pay someone to do anything, Holiday Inn Hotels in England are now offering human bed warmers. If you hate cold sheets (and, who doesn’t?), the staff will send someone up to your room to lie in your bed for you. This opens up a chasm of questions for me, some of which the hotel chain has already anticipated:

Holiday Inn said the warmer would be fully dressed and leave the bed before the guest occupied it. They could not confirm if the warmer would shower first, but said hair would be covered.

How do they know the bed warmer won’t fall asleep on the job? Can you request the gender of your bed warmer? And, what’s wrong with an electric blanket?

In a hotel, the last thing you want to think about is all the other people who have slept in your bed. Knowing someone has just hopped out of it doesn’t make for a restful night’s sleep.

[Via TwitterMoms]

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Here are some of our favorite brief Web stories from this week.

Some people had common sense.

• A couple in Washington is collecting aluminum cans in order to pay for their summer wedding. Getting hitched ain’t cheap, so kudos to this enterprising couple. I can’t wait to see how they pay for the honeymoon.
• An interactive media company in NYC developed a video to entice potential interns. When working for peanuts, a quick video of your responsibilities helps–especially if it looks fun. This makes the want ads seem so 1990s.

And, some did not.

• While giving an interview on Good Morning America, Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of NYC, said there was never a domestic terror attack on G.W. Bush’s watch. Really, Rudy? Did you forget about 9/11, which happened when YOU were mayor? More absurd than this ridiculous partisan sniping, GMA’s correspondent did NOT call Guiliani out on it. Just nod and smile while you’re on camera. No need to actually think.
• A woman in Ohio punched though a McDonald’s drive-thru window because McNuggets weren’t available. Man, what’s in those things?! We know the nuggets are good, but punching the window…wow.
• Some British researchers concluded that the female G-Spot is subjective, so therefore must be a myth. No physical exam was performed. Instead, the women (all twins) were asked whether they believed they had a G-Spot or not. 56% of the women said yes, but no pattern between twins emerged so the researchers concluded those 56% were misinformed about their bodies. The study seems anecdotal and not very thorough. It’s a sad commentary when such shoddy methodology is used, especially on such a delicate subject. If it’s going to be proven or disproven, do it right.

Two college students in Pennsylvania experienced terrible service at a local pub. They did what almost anyone who gets bad service would do: they didn’t pay the tip. The problem is the students were with other friends, and the restaurant automatically adds an 18% added to any large party’s tab.

So, the restaurant called the police and the two tip skippers were later arrested. With handcuffs. Court date to come.

So, let’s look at both sides. First, how bad was the service? Here is what the two students told the media.

They had to find their own napkins and cutlery while their waitress caught a smoke, had to ask the bar for soda refills, and had to wait over an hour for salad and wings, they told NBC10.

Sounds pretty lousy. I wouldn’t tip either.

The restaurant, on the other hand, believes this was a violation of their policy.

The menu clearly states, “18 percent gratuity added to check of parties of 6 of more,” and a similar message is printed on receipts, a pub employee said this morning.

So, the police treated this as a theft. A theft of $16.35.

First, if you have ever waited tables, you know when you’re giving lousy service. I waited tables for years, and I knew that I was a horrible server. It’s not hard to figure it out based on your tips, guest comments, and your own common sense. This waitress went out to have smokes and let people wait an hour for food? She KNEW she didn’t deserve the tip, but thought she was entitled to it anyway. Guess what? Gratuities are given for good service.

Second, the restaurant risks bad PR and the ire of every college student in town over a lousy $16? It’s mind-boggling. Seems like these students are their bread and butter (forgive the food pun) and the restaurant should treat them a little better. It’s been a few years since I’ve been on a campus, but if I remember anything, it’s that all college students are just itching for a good protest. I smell a boycott brewing in Bethlehem.

Third, the police have nothing better to do than get involved in this case? What real crimes were being committed while these non-tippers were being booked? You would think one of the officers would show a little common sense, throw down a $20 and call it a day.

If you want to fight an automatic gratuity, talk to the manager. Explain your situation and make your case. Most times (as it happened with me a few times), the manager will remove the automatic gratuity from your bill and instead leave the tip to your discretion. If the manager isn’t there, or doesn’t agree with you, pay the tip and then talk to the owner later. Believe me, these people care about how their customers are treated. You might find a free dinner or gift certificate coming your way.

If that doesn’t work, there’s always the Fox Problem Solvers.

[Via PatsPapers.com]

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In the recession, one suggestion I’ve heard over and over again has been to borrow books and DVDs from local libraries instead of purchasing them. Makes sense, right? Well, if you live in Philadelphia, you may not have the option any longer. All of the libraries in Philly will close on October 2nd if the state Legislature does not act on the budget request.

Yep, a legislative deadlock is to blame. The city has requested a temporary sales-tax hike and a two-year deferral of pension payments in order to generate funding. If this doesn’t happen, the Philly libraries will all shut down at the beginning of next month. Hard to believe, but it appears to be true.

It is so important to support local libraries. Libraries aren’t just for kids. Many adults need libraries, too. In addition to access to books, movies, and other media, libraries provide computer access to many people who otherwise would not have the option. They host great programs and serve as a resource for the community. To give you an idea of what the closings would mean, just read this excerpt from the notice posted by the library:

All branch and regional library programs, including programs for children and teens, after school programs, computer classes, and programs for adults, will be cancelled.

All Parkway Central Library programs, including children programs, programs to support small businesses and job seekers, computer classes and after school programs, will be cancelled. We are exploring the possibility of relocating the Philadelphia Author Series programs to other non-library facilities.

All library visits to schools, day care centers, senior centers and other community centers will cease.

All community meetings at our branch and regional libraries, and the Parkway Central Library, will be cancelled.

All GED, ABE and ESL programs held at Free Library branches will be discontinued, students should contact their teacher to see if other arrangements are being made.

If you live in the area, here is how you can help.

So, get it together, Philly legislators. Do your jobs and keep the libraries open.

Times are hard and there are a lot of folks looking for work. Jobs are scarce, so it’s tempting to take anything you can get. Is this job posting the best there is?

At first, the posting seems enticing. $60,000 – $80,000 a year might go far in South Carolina. But if you look closer, the ad is riddled with misspellings, bad grammar, too much punctuation… and a lack of punctuation. (Hard to accomplish both, I know, but they pull it off!) My favorite part:

“below in the keywords i ripped off other ads to pull in the keywords..cause im lazy but great spot for person seeking great growth position.. Will conisder as minimal as 2 yrs experiance 2-5 preffered..”

Companies, we know you have the upper hand right now: more people out of work than available positions. But, can’t you still give it the old college try?

(via reddit.com)