Daily Dose of Common Sense

A man was caught streaking through a grocery store and gave one of the all-time best answers as to why he was running naked: boredom.

He did, however, wear a face mask. Boredom doesn’t diminish your modesty, apparently.

Most of us watch TV or eat to fight boredom (sometimes both at the same time). Dude, next time turn on Lost and eat a Hostess Twinkie instead of showing your own Twinkie to the neighborhood.

If you slipped on a grape while shopping in your local produce department, would you sue the store? Well, two separate women in Chicago have filed suit against two separate grocery stores for this very issue.

In one case the 64-year-old plaintiff is suing a Food 4 Less store in Cicero, IL, and its parent company Kroger for over $50,000 after she claims an errant grape caused her to incur over $21,000 in medical expenses.

The other grape-related incident allegedly occurred last May at a Moo & Oink in Hazel Crest. The plaintiff in that case says she “suffered injuries of a personal and pecuniary nature” and is suing for more than $30,000.

Once you stop laughing over the name “Moo & Oink,” think about the situation. Have you ever slipped on a grape? Yes, they are small and can hide in a number of places. But, first, most of us know to watch where we’re walking in a produce section. Second, it’s not like slipping on ice–or even a banana peel. It’s a small grape. I am skeptical that a run-in with a grape caused such serious bodily damage.

Will it get to the point where grapes are sold from behind plexiglass, like meats at the deli counter?

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It sure is fun to laugh at some of the dumb things criminals do, especially if it results in his or her capture. That’s why we love this bit from Cracked: 6 Baffling Mistakes Criminals Apparently Make All the Time. The article is full of ineptness and stupidity. Included are such gems as “Fight the urge to give away personal information” and “Cover your tracks:”

The second thing you should do is take the weather into consideration. If it’s been snowing in the area, a smart criminal will employ snowshoes or a flock of trained eagles that will carry him above the ground to avoid leaving painfully obvious footsteps in the snow. Unlike Rashaun Preston, a not smart criminal who, in 2007, robbed his employers and left a deep, visible trail leading from the scene of the crime straight to his apartment–like some lovably inept cartoon badguy.

Most of these mistakes are just common sense. But, if you had a lot of common sense, you wouldn’t become a criminal in the first place. We hope lawbreakers don’t read the Internet so they’re just that easier to catch.

Twitter is great for up-to-the-minute updates and news flashes. But, some tweeters just don’t know when to keep their thumbs in their pants.

Ryan Seacrest caught flack this week for giving away the results of “American Idol” on Twitter before West Coast viewers had seen the show. Seacrest tweeted the name of the contestant who was booted off, spoiling the broadcast for many fans in other time zones.

Now, revealing an “Idol” castoff isn’t the end of the world. But, what if you make an off-handed joke about bombing an airport? In the old days, this wouldn’t be a big deal, either. Now, the terrorism police (that’s the technical term, I believe) take that shizzle seriously. In the UK, a man was just arrested for a tweet he sent after his flight was cancelled due to a snowfall:

“You’ve got a week and a bit to get your s**t together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!”

That tweet came back to haunt him when the police showed up on his doorstep. Now, his cell phone, laptop, and desktop computer have all been confiscated, plus he is banned from the intended airport FOR LIFE. Ridiculous, we know. All for a tweet made in jest.

Whether it’s tweeting too often, as in the case of John Mayer and his overzealous tweeting, or tweeting the inappropriate, sometimes it’s better to think before you tweet.

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I’ve always wondered why this doesn’t happen more often.

A Nebraska man test drove a truck, during which he went and had the truck’s keys duplicated. He then came back a few hours later and stole the truck from the dealership. He was caught almost right away when the truck was discovered near his house.

However, it seems like a smarter criminal might have a better chance at getting away with it. The dealers who let folks test drive without a dealership employee along for the ride must know that the only people who would try such a nefarious plot aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.

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A couple in California had a new baby on the way and they needed to find ways to save money. So, in 2008, they removed their front lawn and replaced the grass with wood chips. This saved the city thousands of gallons of water and slashed the homeowner’s water bill. Sounds like a win-win, right?

Wrong. Cities want you to keep your lawn for aesthetic reasons. The green looks pretty, even though it takes a whole lot more maintenance and resources than other options. Lawns help to keep property values up. In this particular case, the couple lives in a town that requires homeowners to have at least 40% live landscaping in their front yards. So, they are being taken to court for not having enough green. (And, this is in Southern California, where some cities fine overzealous lawn waterers.)

A neighbor of the couple says,

“It’s their yard, it’s not overgrown with weeds, it’s not an eyesore,” said Cleek, whose own yard boasts fruit and avocado trees. “We should be able to have our yards look the way we want them to.”

Even more disturbing than the draconian landscaping rules is the way this has played out. The couple has made several changes to the front lawn in order to comply with the 40% rule. And, in an example of local government efficiency, the homeowners heard nothing from the city in return until the misdemeanor charge. Way to work together on a compromise, Orange County.

“It’s just funny that we pay our taxes to the city and the city is now prosecuting us with our own money,” Quan Ha said. “Doesn’t it waste funds to go back and fourth in court, rather than sending pictures, e-mails and having phone conversations?”

Sounds like common sense to me.

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There’s a problem in the Florida Everglades that has nothing to do with climate change or the depletion of habitat. The problem is from pet owners who buy snakes they don’t know anything about, and then dump the snakes out in the swamp when they get too difficult to handle. The animals are then free to disrupt the ecosystem.

Wildlife biologists say the troublesome invaders — dumped in the Everglades by pet owners who no longer want them — have become a pest and pose a significant threat to endangered species like the wood stork and Key Largo woodrat.

Two types of non-native pythons are taking over the Everglades: the Burmese python and the African rock python. These snakes proliferate quickly, laying 50 to 100 eggs at a time, and experts say there may be as many as 150,000 of them in the area. The pythons have no predators in their new environment, so they can pretty much run roughshod over the local wildlife.

Not to mention a Florida resident who owned a Burmese python, only to have it escape and strangle his girlfriend’s two-year old daughter one night in 2009. A tragedy that could have been avoided with a little common sense.

Obviously, you shouldn’t buy pets you don’t understand or know anything about. Unless you have a full-time experienced keeper on hand, it’s irresponsible to keep exotic pets. But, even WORSE is to dump the animal out in the wilderness once it’s no longer any fun. Especially when you don’t know what the repercussions might be to the environment. At least give the animal to a local zoo.

If you’re a fan of wearing your PJs in public, be glad you don’t live in Shanghai or in Cardiff, Wales.

With the World Expo 2010 looming, officials in Shanghai have launched a campaign encouraging citizens to leave their pajamas at home. If you look at the photos, it’s hard to see what the fuss is about. The pajamas look quite respectable: They match, they’re bright and colorful, and we don’t see any obvious stains or signs of wear. I mean, most people don’t have PJs this nice.

A grocery store in Wales is now refusing service to anyone shopping while wearing PJs. I understand that a few folks might be uncomfortable at the thought of someone, fresh from bed, frolicking amongst the cantaloupe in his or her night clothes. However, there isn’t much difference between pajamas and most of the casual “workout” clothes you see people wearing all the time. In fact, athletic clothes are usually tight, and some of the folks wearing said outfits should be in much, much looser clothing.

It can be a hard call, too. Some pajamas don’t look like pajamas, and some regular clothes might be confused for PJs. How can you really be sure?

I would much, MUCH rather see people in loose-fighting, tasteful pajamas than some of the outfits I’ve seen while shopping in Target and Walmart. Not to pick on those two fine retail establishments, but…well, there’s a web site you can check for verification. We made fun of the “pajama/jean” concept here, but perhaps this is a just a bigger trend to get us all in pajamas 24/7. (Sure would come in handy after a big meal!) So, lighten up on the PJs, folks. It could be worse.

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Here are some of our favorite brief Web stories from this week.

Some people had common sense.

• Time Magazine did a profile on They Might Be Giants‘ kids album called Here Comes Science. Glad to see a great band getting some props. Kids need smart music!
• Too broke to fly home for Uncle George’s funeral? No problem. Some funeral homes now begin to stream funerals live on the Web.
• A Texas family cut their grocery bill in half by planning their meals a year in advance. A lot of work, I’m sure, but knowing what you need to buy down the road allows you to wait until it goes on sale, etc.

And, some did not.

• A TSA agent planted fake drugs on a traveler as a gag. Nice, huh? Agent no longer employed by TSA.
• A New Hampshire man called the cops to complain that he paid for sex and did not receive it. Clearly not a student of the law. He and the woman were both arrested (shocker!).
• Detroit shoplifters ran over and killed the Kmart employee trying to stop them. Now they face armed robbery and homicide charges. The shoplifters were making off with $400 of CDs. That’s worth going to jail for, don’t you think?

On August 28th,1963, on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C., Martin Luther King, Jr. delivered one of the most powerful speeches in modern history. Commonly referred to as the “I have a dream” speech, King spoke bravely and wisely, and called for an end to discrimination.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, celebrated every third Monday in January, honors his birthday, which is January 15th. The day is one of only four United States federal holidays which commemorate an individual.

So, on this third Monday of January 2010, take a moment to listen again to (or reread) his iconic words spoken 47 years ago. The words are just as relevant and important now as they were then.

Read it

Listen to it

Photo: The U.S. National Archives